I haven’t posted for awhile as my stamina was suddenly disabled by the time Christmas Day hit.
Nothing serious occurred, it was likely due to the busyness the week before Christmas. I was trying to get everything done, and this hectic activity, combined with an excarbation of my chronic pain issue, led to a trying festive week.
I really struggle with slowing down and often form little lists in my head of must do things before a certain date. Before Christmas. Before the baby is born. Before we go on holidays.
I like to be organised. I like to get appointments done before special events. I like to maintain some type of order in my house and in my life, but you can never be truly organised. You can never be all things to all people and have all things sorted at all times. I honestly didn’t think I was taking on too much, I thought I was just doing what needed to be done. But, I’ve had to ask myself – did I really need to do all of those things?
I even filled my week with appointments in an attempt to find some non-medical solutions to my chronic pain. In the end, this exertion added to my distress, and added to my frustration!
My body just woke up so weak Christmas morning that I nearly had to stay home and miss Christmas lunch. I felt so guilty being so burdensome to my poor husband home for his holidays. I wasn’t filled with much cheeriness as my tiredness drained it out of me. But my girls filled my days with joy, as they always do.
‘To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring – it was peace.’
Due to my ill health and my wonderful husband taking over, I spent a few hours each day in bed. So I started resting with my baby. This was pure bliss, and a definite upside to my pain and weakness.
I am very aware that this lesson isn’t filled with the usual lightness and anecdotal style that I’ve been injecting my posts with. I needed to start back somewhere with something after my unexpected hiatus, but apologise for it’s prosaic nature. I will do better next time.